Beer 4 Bitches

Hey there bitches.

Today I need a beer. Not just want, but need. My day was stressful.

Why? You may ask.

Well, I had lunch with my friend Wibby (ok her real name is Mary Elizabeth but that is so NOT her). That in itself is not a reason for stress. In fact we had fun. We always do. We have been friends for 33 years, and thats almost impossible since we are both just 29 years old. {Crystal ducks behind couch waiting for lightning bolts to strike.}

The stress came into play when Wibbs got stuck in traffic and I had time to kill. I decided it was time to bite the bullet and go bra shopping.

I HATE BRA SHOPPING!

For those of you with a cup size of an A, B, C you simply walk into a store, say ooh thats pretty, pick up a few and without even trying them on you make your purchase and skip along your way.

For those of us with a D or larger cup, no such luck! Bras that big are either ugly and look like something your great grandmother wore under her house coat or slutty as hell (picture Fredricks of Hollywood for fat ladies), NO! WAIT, DONT, you may need those retinas in the future.

Now I recently lost some weight, not enough that you would notice (9 pounds woohoo for me) but enough that my bras are too big. Why do we always loose it there first? I mean really, riddle me this Batman. It is so not fair.

So now comes the dilemma, do I go down a band size and keep the same cup size or do I keep the same band size and go down a cup size? How the hell should I know?

Solution take two of everything in the fitting room.
I swear I would rather have my toenails pulled out...
Problems in dressing room; back fat - I would have been much happier without the triple mirror, if I cant see the back fat it doesn't exist, right?... Lifts but doesn't separate...Separates but doesn't lift...Lifts, separates, hides back fat, but is three inches thick. Really who needs a bra that thick? I mean everyone has nipples! Its not a secret for crying out loud....

Hooray! Success . I pay and go to lunch with Wibby!

Where was I? Oh yes beer. BEER!

Tonight I chose an IPA from Stone Brewing Company, in Escondido California.
Yes, they also make Arrogant Bastard.

This beer is aptly named RUINATION, because if I had gotten the wrong bra I would be ruined....